Well, a month ago I had brain surgery. Did it really happen? I reach up and feel the back of my head, the bumpy knots of the sutures still working their way out, and realize that it did indeed happen. Mostly, though, the evidence of my surgery is hidden within.
I've returned to doing nearly everything I did before surgery. I'm crocheting, watching movies, riding my exercise bike, playing video games, and even reading internet pages on my tablet, something that was nearly impossible at first. My double vision remains bad but I hardly notice in my daily activities. Yes, on the whole, I've returned to "normal" life.
But underneath the surface, I am obviously still recovering. Breathing is getting easier but I still get winded much easier than before. I can't ride my bike long and I can only go very slowly. Every day when I wake up, I gauge how bad the brain swelling will be. Some days it's so bad, I find myself lashing out and angry about the tiniest things. Other days I have much less pain and I'm cheerful.
I suppose in summary, I've pretty much fully returned to what I was doing before surgery, but not to the same extent. My life before surgery wasn't exactly ideal, though, and I hope it will be greatly improved upon in the future. For now I'm just trying to accept the fact that it's okay to cut myself some slack. I'm up and about and keeping busy, and that'll have to be enough for the present.
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